


brother in arms.

by ambrosespellmans



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Archie needs a hug, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, How Do I Tag, Suicide Attempt, post episode: The Sweet Hereafter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 23:10:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11588100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambrosespellmans/pseuds/ambrosespellmans
Summary: It's been weeks since anybody has seen Archie.





	brother in arms.

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys, so i don't have permenant wifi atm in my house so i won't be uploading much!

Nobody had seen Archie in weeks.

 

The last time Jughead could remember seeing his redheaded best friend was at Fred Andrews’ funeral and even that had been brief, the other teenager staying for approximately two minutes before speeding out of there in a fit of tears.

  
Jug had tried contacting his mother, but she said that he hadn’t returned home in two weeks, and now the police were involved.

 

It was all becoming a gigantic mess.

 

Between his new identity as a Serpent and potentially losing his best friend, Jughead felt like he was being torn in two.

 

One day after coming home from a surprisingly boring day at Southside High, Jughead noticed that a couple of things in his house had been knocked aside.  He walked into the living room, wondering if it was simply his foster parents spontaneously deciding to redecorate.

 

Then he heard a gentle, “Hi, Jug.” and froze, his eyes settling on a withered figure collapsed in the corner chair.

 

“Holy shit.” Jughead muttered, “Arch…” he rushed over, eyes frantically searching his friend’s form for injuries, “What the hell happened?”   
  


Archie croaked, “I… I can’t tell you.”

 

“I was so worried!” the dark-haired boy couldn’t stop the rant that began to spill from his mouth, “Where the hell were you, huh?” he prodded Archie’s shoulder with his finger, feeling immediately guilty when he winced, “We thought you were dead.  That you had gone out on some suicide mission because of what happened to your dad.  We had Sheriff Keller looking for you, and you think you can just show up and say  _ ‘I can’t tell you’? _  Fuck you.”

 

Archie’s eyes were red as he mumbled, “Jug… I’m sorry.  I screwed up.  It’s what I do.” he sniffled, then tried to explain, “I couldn’t stick around, just knowing that… that my dad was gone.  I couldn’t.  I went away, tried to find someone I could attack for this, s-someone I could blame.   And I did.” he choked up, “I found  _ myself.” _

 

“You’re not making any sense…” Jughead said.

 

Archie explained, “I found these people… gang people, not the Serpents, not  _ your people _ …” the phrase came out harsher than intended, “And I kept pissing them off and eventually… well, they had enough.  I got the ass-kicking I was looking for.”

 

“Fucking hell…” Jughead mumbled, his eyes roaming over him once more, noticing that Archie’s hand was clasped over a gaping wound, “Did they stab you?”

 

Archie gave a dry, drunken laugh, “Only a little.”

  
“This isn’t funny!” Jughead yelped, his usual sarcastic demeanor dropped, “I’m calling an ambulance.”

 

Archie suddenly shook his head, holding up his bloody hands, “I’m fine.  There’s no need.”

 

“Dude, you’re half dead!” the other boy shouted, noticing his friend’s not-so-subtle flinch, “Please, let me help you.  You wouldn’tve shown up if you didn’t want me to help you.”

 

Archie shuffled, “No, I came to tell you to tell everyone to stop looking.”

 

_ “‘Stop looking’?”  _ Jughead shrieked incredulously, “Are you fucking insane?  We thought you were dead!”

 

The redhead replied nonchalantly, “Now you know I’m not, what’s the problem?”

 

“The problem, Arch, is that you are clearly not thinking straight.” Jughead snapped, “You’ve gone through something terrible and you’re not handling it well.”

 

Archie retorted, “Of course I’m not fucking handling it well, Jug.  My dad is  _ dead.   _ Gone.  Kaput.  Six feet under and there is nothing I can do about it but rage.”

 

“You’re not the only one who’s lost someone, you know.” Jug reminded, “Cheryl’s lost her brother.  Your mom lost her husband an--”   
  


Archie cut him off, “Cheryl, who now has the whole town worried about her and Ronnie looking after her, and my mom, who was too busy swanning off in Chicago to give a fucking damn about what happened to this family!” his voice cracked, “My dad was all I had left and I held him as he bled to death, so don’t you fucking  _ dare  _ tell me what I am feeling.  You have no idea.”   
  


“My dad’s in jail, Arch.” Jughead yelled, “Or did you forget when you were on this kamikaze mission of yours?”

 

Archie gave a cruel scoff, “At least you can visit your dad.  My dad is buried six feet under, rotting.  It’s funny that I don’t believe in an afterlife because when you lose someone as a non believer, it’s a lot crueler.  You realise the dead stay dead.  They don’t come back, there’s no ‘great beyond’, there’s just rotting flesh and nothingness.”

 

“You’re not being fair.” his friend frowned, saddened by the venomous words coming from Archie’s tongue.

 

Archie struggled to his feet, “Look man, if you’re not going to pass along my message then I’m done arguing.  I’m done with it all.”

 

“What about Kevin, Cheryl, Betty and Veronica?  You done with them too?” Jughead asked, cursing the tears that threatened to sting his eyes.

  
Archie winced as he shifted, “Trust me -- they’re better off without me.”

 

“I know what you’re doing.” Jughead said, swivelling around to look at Archie, who had his back turned to him, “You’re pushing us away because you’re scared that if you let yourself open up, you’ll have to face what happened.  Trust me, Arch, I practically invented that trick when I used to find dad passed out drunk.”

 

Archie sighed heavily, “Jug, you’ve always been better off without me.  After Grundy, you  _ really _ should’ve figured that out.”   
  


“What she did to you--”

 

“-- was statutory rape, I know.” Archie said flatly, “Dad already gave me that talk -- when he was  _ alive,  _ anyway.  But I wanted it.  No matter what, I wanted it.”   
  


Jughead shook his head, “That predator  _ manipulated  _ you.  You’re just too swallowed in self-hatred to see it.”   
  


“You think I hate myself.” Archie gave a crooked grin, “Well, you’re not wrong.  ‘Hate’ seems like not a strong enough word though.  You’d all be better off if I just disappeared.  If I was gone forever.”

 

Following Archie’s haunting words, Jughead finally felt the first tear fall, “Arch, you need help.” he said, more a plea than anything else, “We can help you.  Just don’t leave again.”

 

“You really wanna know why I came?  I just wanted to say goodbye.” Archie began, “You’ve always been my best friend, ever since we were kids.  I remember when you first told me you were asexual.  You came over and wrote ‘Juggie = ace’ on my homework book.  It took a couple of days for me to work it out, but I eventually did.  I was so proud of you.  I  _ am  _ so proud of you.  You’re a better guy than I could ever be.  So do me a favour and don’t forget me?”

 

Jughead pleaded, “Don’t talk like that.  Please.  You’re scaring me.”

 

“Juggie…” Archie turned around to face his friend, his face falling slightly at the tear tracks that glistened on Jughead’s cheeks, “See?  I’m just upsetting you.  This wasn’t a good idea.” it took him a couple of seconds to tear away his gaze, “Tell Betty and Veronica that this wasn’t their faults, okay?  I was damaged goods the second I let Grundy touch me.  It was all downhill from there.”

 

Jughead grabbed Archie’s arms frantically, wary of the wounds as he sobbed, “Please, please,  _ please,  _ don’t do anything stupid.  I need you, Archie.  You’re my best pal.  We’re the dynamic duo, l-like  _ Batman and Robin  _ o-or  _ Shaggy and Scooby.   _ Please don’t leave me.”   
  


“I can’t live with myself anymore.” Archie admitted, his voice breaking, “You don’t know what it’s like--”   
  


“-- then tell me!”

 

Archie cried back,  _ “I can’t!”  _ his golden-brown eyes began swimming with tears, “You don’t understand.  I just  _ can’t.   _ I can’t let him be dead and live with it.”   
  


“Arch, it wasn’t your fault.  Please, just listen to me--”

 

The redhead pulled away, “I can’t.  I have to do this.  I have to make it right.”

 

With that, he stumbled out of the house, blood dotting behind him.  Jughead’s entire form shook with sobs as he considered the fact that Archie might be too far gone, that after everything -- Grundy, Valerie, his parents’ divorce and his dad’s death -- he might have lost him.

 

Memories soaked into Jughead’s mind, memories of a happier time, a time where Jughead had been doom and gloom and Archie had been sunshine incarnate, but now all that light that had lived inside him, a beacon of hope and happiness, had been snuffed out by the inevitability of cruel fate dealing her deadly hand.

 

Jughead collapsed to the floor, choking on his own sobbing breath and he couldn’t think of any way to prevent Archie from doing what he was going to do.

 

Archie was his best friend -- more than that.  He was his platonic soulmate, if such things existed.  From the very beginning, it had felt like destiny had brought them together, but it seemed it was only to tear them apart when they needed each other the most.

 

It was a joke; a cruel, horrible joke and Jughead wanted no part of it.  He just wanted the good old days back, where their only worries had been getting sand in their shoes, or Jellybean stealing their action figures.

 

Moments passed, and Jughead could feel his sobs retreating as a million thoughts processed through his addled mind, with one resounding louder than the others.

 

_ No. _

 

No.  Not today.  Fate would not take Archie Andrews from him.  He wouldn’t lose him, even if saving him was the last thing he ever did.

 

Archie Andrews did not deserve this.

 

He wiped at his face and got to his feet before breaking into a run, texting Veronica and Betty in the process.  It didn’t take a genius to work out where Archie had gone; back to where it had all began, just as Cheryl had during her suicide attempt.

 

_ Sweetwater River. _

 

Jughead wasn’t particularly athletic but the adrenaline that pumped through his veins was enough to drive anyone to commit impossible deeds, and by the time he had reached the river, he noticed that he was, thankfully, not too late.

 

Archie was standing on the bridge that curved over the river, his eyes transfixed on the dark, murky water below as if it was communicating with him.  The last time he had been here, he had saved Cheryl’s life, having punched through ice to retrieve her.  He remembered the pride and relief he felt after administering successful CPR.  Cheryl’s living, full breaths had been a blessing but now, just the memory of those days were a curse.

 

The ice had melted now, so it was just the depths staring back at him, but the current seemed strong enough to sweep him away anyway, which was what he was hoping for.  He didn’t want to fight.

 

_ Some hero, giving up so easily. _

 

His mind was filled with derogatory comments all directed toward himself in a cacophany of self-doubt and suicidal thoughts.

 

He pulled off his bloodied white button-up shirt and cast it aside, hissing as the material brushed his sensitive stab wound.  He then picked up his gold and yellow letterman jacket, the jacket he had worn whilst his dad perished, and draped it around his shivering form before clambering up to sit on the edge, his legs hanging off the side as he tried to remember how to breathe.

 

It had been difficult ever since his dad died, each breath seeming to be harder to take than the last.  He couldn’t bear it.  He couldn’t bear the thought of people seeing him differently, as a victim.

 

Just the thought of everyone offering their condolonces made him want to vomit.  He wanted to be desensitised to everything.  To emotion, to pain, to everything.   He just wanted to be numb instead of being toppled almost every second of every day by the thought of his dad’s smile (or how the smile faded and his eyes glassed over whilst he drew his final breath), or of Veronica’s soft lips (or how those lips trembled when she watched Jason Blossom’s death on tape, all innocence in her mind torn away), or of Betty’s big blue eyes (or how she asked him if he loved her and he couldn’t answer without breaking her heart because he didn’t deserve a girl like her) or of Jughead’s sense of humor (or his anger when Archie pulled away from him over a girl, a predator at that).

 

He didn’t want to feel anymore, because feeling was killing him.

 

The sound of footsteps caught his attention and he turned his head and saw a breathless Jughead come close to him.

 

“You shouldn’t have come.” Archie said dryly, dropping his eyes back to the water, “I didn’t want you to see--”

 

“-- you offing yourself?” Jughead panted, “Oh, don’t worry, Arch.  I’m sure I’ll get a front row ticket when I go with you.”

 

He pulled off his serpent jacket and dropped it to the ground with a sharklike grin as he caught his breath.

 

Archie looked confused, “Wait-- What are you doing?”

 

“What do you think, you great big idiot?” Jughead asked as he clambered onto the ledge beside Archie, “Ride or die, brother.”

 

Archie scoffed, “Don’t be ridiculous.  Get down.”

 

“Make me.” Jughead would’ve crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out to prove his point, but the rushing waves below him installed a fear in him that caused him to freeze up.

 

A voice called, “Oh, my God,” and Archie looked up and saw Betty and Veronica coming down the clearing together.

 

“Did you call the whole freakin’ town?” Archie hissed at Jughead.

 

“Nope.” Jughead said, “But I’m pretty sure they did.”

 

Veronica nodded, “I called the cops and an ambulance.”

 

“Both of you, get down!” Betty cried, her big eyes filling with tears.

 

Jughead hadn’t spoken to either girl in weeks, so long that it almost felt like there was a disconnect but when he looked at Archie’s face, he saw the one thing that made him feel like it was worth it.

 

Conflict, as if his decision was no longer set in stone.

 

“I’m doing this.” Archie said, sounding like he was trying to convince himself more than anything, “I  _ have  _ to.”

 

Betty choked on a sob, “No, you don’t.”

 

“You don’t understand.” Archie mumbled, feeling lightheaded from the bloodloss, “I can’t go on.  I can’t smile, pretend I’m okay.”

 

Veronica pleaded, “You don’t have to.  Now come down.  Please.”

 

“I do have to, though!” Archie cried, feeling tears threaten him, “My dad is  _ dead.   _ He’s gone and I’ve tried everything.  I’ve tried using my anger, I’ve tried hating people.  I’ve tried to move past it.”   
  
Veronica said, “You have to  _ feel  _ it.”

 

_ “I don’t want to feel it!”  _ Archie yelled, “I don’t want to feel a fucking thing ever again and I don’t want you to miss me.   You guys, you’re all so complicated but so great.  I’m just a mess -- a stupid, sad, pathetic, broken mess who fucked his teacher.” his voice rose in pitch and he began to tremble.

 

The sound of sirens began to sound in the distance and Archie felt his heart race, knowing that if he didn’t jump, the whole town would look at him differently, like he was nothing but a broken boy with a broken heart and a broken mind (and even though that was the truth, he didn’t want to face it).

 

“So what are you going to do?” Jughead asked, “Because you jump, I jump.”

 

Archie stammered out, “W-Why?  Why would you sacrifice your life for me?”

 

“Would you do it for me?” Jughead queried, “If the situations were reversed and I was the one about to kill myself, would you try everything you could?  Because I know for sure that I can’t live without you.  You’re my best friend.”

 

Archie took a shuddering breath, “Of course I would try.  I’d give my life up for you -- for  _ any  _ of you -- in a heartbeat.”   
  


“Then why is it so bad when we wanna sacrifice for you?” the other boy asked.

 

Archie’s composure began to break, “Because I’m not worth it.”

 

_ “Oh, Archie…”  _ Betty wept, her heart shattering into a million pieces from seeing Archie like this.

 

Jughead swallowed, “How about we get off of here, we can take you home and we talk?  Please?  We care about you, Arch.  We  _ need  _ you.”

 

Archie took a few moments to consider, then shook his head, “I’m sorry, but Riverdale  _ isn’t  _ my home.”   
  


He got up and clambered back over the side of the bridge until he was on the pathway, ready to break into another run when suddenly--

 

_ SPLASH! _ __  
  


Archie turned back and saw that Jughead was no longer sitting on the bridge and vaguely heard Veronica and Betty’s cries of his name but their voices were dimmed out by his shock.

 

“What happened?” he shouted, frantic and increasingly guilty.

 

Betty screamed back,  _ “He fell!” _

 

Instantly, Archie ran to the edge and searched for his friend, worried that he had caused his death.  He had chosen to end his life on that night due to how harsh the currents were but he had never imagined it going  _ this  _ wrong.

 

His eyes searched the water and after a heart-stopping second of thinking  _ I’ve just killed my best friend,  _ he caught some movement in his peripheral vision.

 

Terrified and frantically flapping to stay afloat against the cruel stream was a drowning Jughead.  Archie could feel his chest tightening with horror but fought against it as well as he could, jumping onto a stepping stone.

 

“Take my hand!” he yelled, outstretching his arm.

 

Jughead struggled a couple of times before his hand linked with Archie’s but instead of pulling him up like he initially intended, Archie could feel himself slipping on the stone and being pulled into the dark depths too.

 

However, before they could be both pulled into the drink, Archie felt someone -- or two somebodies -- grab him by the jacket.  He turned back to see Betty and Veronica, who were both tugging him up.  It irritated his stab wound, but he grit his teeth and worked through it.

 

When he managed to get back on dry land, Archie pulled a hacking and choking Jughead up with him, seeing how scared the other man looked as he scanned around.

 

It felt like Jughead’s lungs were made of sandpaper and he couldn’t stop coughing and shivering, so when Archie dropped to his knees in front of him, he struggled to perceive what he was going to do.

 

To his surprise, Archie hugged him.  He wrapped his arms tightly around him and began to sob.  All of that pent up grief and anger and shame came down like a storm, one that needed to happen.   
  
Betty and Veronica both dropped down too and embraced the boys and each other, until the four of them were in a protective cocoon, the only sounds around them Archie’s sobs, Jughead’s gasping coughs and the sound of sirens as ambulances and police pulled up to Sweetwater River.

 

*

 

Archie and Jughead were soon taken to hospital but both were put in a room beside each other per the latter’s request.  Archie hadn’t spoken a word, not to the Sheriff whom had brutally interrogated him or his mother, who had yelled at him before breaking down in hysterics.

 

When he and Jughead were finally alone, Archie mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

 

“For what?” the other asked.

 

Archie’s eyes filled with hot tears again as he replied, “I almost got you killed.”   
  


“Well, technically it was  _ my  _ idea to get up there in the first place.” Jughead corrected, “Ride or die, remember?”

 

Archie’s voice broke as he said, “I don’t think that phrase is meant to be taken so literally.”

 

“Dude, I’m fine.” Jughead promised, “What about you?  You got your ass kicked by a couple of gang members, stabbed and you almost--” he broke off, “-- you know.”

 

Archie shrugged, “I don’t care how I am.”

 

“And therein lies the problem.” Jughead said, “Ever since your dad--” he paused, swallowing, “-- since he, uh… anyway.  You have some sort of death wish.  But take it from a guy who knows something about hating themselves… you don’t have to go through this alone.”

 

Archie’s face crumpled for a second, his lip quivering.

 

“Your dad wouldn’t want you to go through it alone and he certainly wouldn’t want you killing yourself.” his friend continued, “And I don’t either.  You’re not alone, Archie.  You have me, Betty, Veronica, Kevin.   _ Hell,  _ even Reggie and Cheryl would side with you.  So never  _ ever  _ think that killing yourself is your only option because it isn’t.”

 

Tears overflowed, tracking down Archie’s cheeks.

 

“You have people who love you and care about you.  Your mom, although she moved away for a while, she still loves you.” Jughead kept going, “Veronica, well, you two have chemistry that’s on fire but she also genuinely cares about you, and for a girl like her, that’s rare.  Betty, she loves you unconditionally and I geniunely think she thinks of you as the best person she knows.  Kevin, he cares.  Cheryl does.  And me, well.  You’re my brother.  My best friend.  You accepted me when I came out as ace and I’m going to accept you no matter what you choose to do.   Because I love you, Arch.  I’m not a touchy-feely kind of guy, I mean, emotions disgust me, but if there’s one thing I know it’s that I love you.  You’re my family.  And I’m going to stick by you through all the bad, just so I can be there when there’s finally some good again.  And there will be.  It will get better.  You just gotta make a choice.  You gotta decide that you’re worth saving because the main person you need to help you is yourself.  You need to make that decision that ‘yeah, your life is allowed to mean something’.  That you, yourself have meaning.  And you do.  You’re Archie Andrews, the great musician in training.  So decide.  Decide whether you’re going to let this kill you too or if you’re going to fight for it.”

 

Silence fell between them for a few uncomfortable seconds, and Jughead was worried that he had scared Archie further off.

 

Then suddenly, his choked up and emotional best friend admitted something that brought him great relief.

 

“Juggie…” he said, “I think I need to get some help.”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos/comments are appreciated!


End file.
